1. You drive to work looking at people walking along the road to make sure they're not limping.
2. You want to hug a stranger walking down the sidewalk.
3. You see someone in an orange t-shirt at the grocery store and think they're your best buddy.
4. You want to high five a woman just because she's in pink.
5. You park your motorcycle on random street corners... usually on the sidewalk
6. You spend hours and hours putting together the ideal booty-shaking playlist
7. That playlist is full of things like the "Chicken Dance," "Boogie Man" and "We Are Family"
8. You think putting those songs on repeat for hours on end is a great idea
9. You see a woman with short hair and wonder if she just finished treatment
10. You respond like Pavlov's Dogs to the word "pie"
11. You try to grab a stranger's cell phone because they're not supposed to text and walk at the same time
12. You consider one way street, stop and do not enter signs more suggestions than rules
13. You think that a whistle and a little flag will protect you from the speeding cars you step in front of
14. You tell people "I'm working this corner" and they don't think of "Pretty Woman"
15. You ride really slowly in the right lane with your hazards on staring intently at pedestrians
16. You feel entitled to hold your hand out and stop cars while crossing the street, and glare at them if they yell or honk at you
17. You pole dance on a lamp post
18. You think it's acceptable to ride down the street blaring your horn when there is no traffic, often to a catchy tune such as "Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits"
19. It feels strange to NOT be using a port-o-potty
20. You wake up at 6am and think of how nice it was to sleep in
21. You think flashy vests, obnoxiously bright colors, fishnets and tutus are normal attire
22. Your idea of a quality lunch is string cheese, peanut butter graham cracker sandwiches and gatorade
23. You walk through the grocery store expounding on the comparative merits of the purple versus yellow gatorade
24. You have at least one good joke a day.... which you tell over and over and over again, and no one gets tired of it but you
25. You want to eat dinner last
26. Spaghetti sounds like a meal fit for kings
27. You feel like four wheels is overkill
28. You study traffic light patterns while riding around to see how many walkers you would be able to get across
29. You wave at and thank people who honk at you
30. You wonder why people don't wave and cheer when you honk at them
31. You cross your arms above your head when you're thirsty or can't do the potty dance any longer, and expect someone to come take your place
32. You wonder why the guy on the highway crew with the safety flag isn't dancing
33. Your idea of honoring someone is to wave the shoe you've been wearing for 4 straight days in the air
34. The combination of pink, inspiring music and story time makes you cry
35. You'll cry on a stranger's shoulder
36. You walk around whistling "Pink Warrior"
37. You send hugs and butt pinches by proxy to your friends
38. Your friends have names like Ass Pick, Repo, TuckBack and Short Bus
39. You put stickers, flags, flamingos, bras and anything pink on your (custom painted) bike
**Thanks to Mark, Astrid, Marmalade, Bicycle Kevin, Robin and Tape for helping out
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